Are you too busy, being busy, to make a life? Do you feel like your days are a race against the clock, navigating your way through with a never ending ‘To Do’ list (where are you on that list)? Constantly rushing but getting nowhere, running to stand still? Do you crave some ‘Me-Time’? Collapsing at the end of the day, relieved to have made it through, saying:
‘Is it Wine Time Yet?!’
Women are raised to put the needs of others first. Being the ‘Good Girl’ -hard wired to nurture, take care of everyone else, not good at prioritising their own needs (even they even have the time to find out what those are!) over committing – dependant on the approval of others-saying ‘Yes’ when she wants to scream ‘No’.
We have a problem—and the odd thing is we not only know about it, we’re celebrating it. Just this week, someone boasted to me that she was so busy she’d averaged four hours of sleep a night for the last two weeks. Busyness has become a badge of honour. We brag about being busy: it’s code for being successful and important
WHAT’S THE PAY OFF FROM BEING SO BUSY?
- ‘Busyness’ is often a mask, a DISTRACTION. It offers an excuse to avoid being ‘still’, being with yourself, and reflecting on who you are, what you want, your life and where you’re headed. Being honest with yourself.
- Makes you feel needed, productive, valued, like your life has purpose & meaning
- Keep everybody happy-people pleaser-avoid rejection/ judgement/ confrontation/guilt
- Reinforces conditioning we experience when growing up e.g. ‘Good girls’- never argue/ do as they’re told/ help other people/ sacrifice or ‘Good mums’ do everything for their children, put other people’s needs first, don’t have needs of their own as that’s selfish! Makes you feel you are ‘doing it right’.
- Reinforces limiting/negative beliefs about ourselves. Don’t deserve to have fun, be happy, strive to be ‘good enough’, can’t relax.
What beliefs have you adopted/developed around being a woman?
Which ones disempower you or hold you back/ keep you in behaviours that have a negative effect on you?
What did your own mum role model regarding being a woman? What messages did you receive?
What ‘rules’ about what you are supposed to do are creating your over stuffed schedule?
‘Cost’ Of Being Busy?
Constantly ‘Busy’ leads to stress, so long term physical or mental health at risk. Needs not being met-leads to depression.
- Physical effects of ‘Busy’– Inability to lose weight- increase in Weight- Busy =multitasking =FAT / Bloated tummy/ Increased PMS
- Psychological effects of ‘Busy’-Of people with phobiasor ocd, about 60% are female.
- Emotional Effects of ‘Busy’-Irritable/ Mood Swings/ Forgetfulness/ Stress. Women are twice as likely to experience anxiety as men, and have higher risk of developing major depression, and eating disorders than males.
- Relationship issues
A study last year revealed 77% of working women avoid going to the doctor due to lack of time. If you never have enough time to do anything it is not because you do not have enough time, it is because you have not made enough space.
This is not a ‘time’ issue, it’s a priorities issue. You have given importance to too many things, and not enough to priority to the things you value. How you are choosing to spend your time is the issue.
List the ways in which you squander time-create a breakdown of how you spend 24 hours e.g. How many times a day do you check your ‘Smartphone’? It’s estimated that an average user checks their phone 150 times per day. Hours spent on FB? Checking e-mail?
WHAT ARE YOU CHOOSING OVER ‘YOURSELF’? WHAT ARE YOU GIVING IMPORTANCE TO ‘V’ WHAT DO YOU VALUE?